Spousal Support (spousal maintenance, alimony) or Adult Child Support? A Tongue-in-Cheek Look at the Most Expensive Breakups

In Canada, United Kingdom Australia and most States in the USA when your child turns 18, your legal duty to financially support them is supposed to end—unless they’re still in school or unable to care for themselves due to disability. At some point, they’re expected to fly the nest, pay their own bills, and learn how interest works on a credit card.

But if that “child” happened to be your ex-spouse instead, the rules are quite different.

Welcome to the upside-down world of indefinite spousal support (spousal maintenance, alimony) in Canada, United Kingdom Australia and most States in the USA., where your ex-partner—who may have chosen to leave the marriage and is perfectly capable of working—can be financially supported for life, while your actual adult children are told to “figure it out.”

Let’s compare the two. Warning: bring your sense of humour (and your wallet).

Scenario 1: Your Adult Child Can’t Make Ends Meet

Your 25-year-old son, fresh out of art school, working two part-time jobs and living in a studio apartment, asks you for monthly support to maintain the standard of living he had when you were paying for everything at home.

You laugh. He’s an adult.

But imagine this: a court orders you to pay him $1,500/month indefinitely. Why? Because he had it better when he lived with you, and he hasn’t quite achieved that same comfort level now. You protest, “But he moved out!” The court says, “Yes, but he’s used to steak dinners, clean laundry, and not paying rent.”

Fail to pay? That’s contempt of court. Possible jail time. Congratulations—you now have a 30-year-old dependent and the state to enforce it.

Sounds absurd, right?

Scenario 2: Your Ex-Spouse Leaves You—and Gets a Raise

Now take the same logic, apply it to divorce, and suddenly it’s the law.

Your spouse decides they’re unhappy. Maybe they’re “growing.” Maybe they met someone new. No cheating, no abuse—just a change of heart. They initiate a no-fault divorce.

They’re working part-time, healthy, capable, and fully employable. But because you earned more during the marriage, the court orders you to pay indefinite spousal support (spousal maintenance, alimony)—to maintain their “marital standard of living.”

You can’t say no. You can’t just “cut them off.” If you miss payments, you can face garnished wages, asset seizure, suspended driver’s licenses, or jail time.

So now, you’re legally bound to provide for a fully grown adult who left you—even though they’re not your child and the marriage is over.

Still sound like justice?

Spouse or Grown Child: Who Gets the Better Deal?

Let’s compare benefits:

The Bitter Irony

Canada, United Kingdom Australia and most States in the USA pride themselves on fairness, equity, and dignity for all adults. Yet in family court, the same system that expects your adult children to fend for themselves protects your ex-spouse from financial independence indefinitely.

In effect, your ex becomes a state-backed dependent, with the law as their collection agency. It’s the only breakup where you lose the house, your freedom, and still owe an allowance.

If adult children demanded the same treatment as ex-spouses, we’d call it entitlement. When ex-spouses demand it, we call it “spousal support(spousal maintenance, alimony).”

Time for Change (and Common Sense)

It’s time to stop pretending that indefinite spousal support (spousal maintenance, alimony) is compassionate. It’s not. It’s a relic from an era when spouses weren’t equal, when women couldn’t work freely, and when divorce meant lifelong shame.

We now live in a world where:

• Both spouses can work.
• Divorce is a right, not a failure.
• Independence is a celebrated value.

Let’s bring the law up to date.

If your adult children can’t sue you to maintain their lifestyle, your ex shouldn’t be able to either.