Ah, spousal support under a no-fault divorce — the modern fairy tale. Once upon a time, you exchanged vows, shared a Netflix password, and maybe even had a joint Costco membership. Then one day, poof! Your spouse decides marriage is more exhausting than TikTok drama and, thanks to no-fault divorce, doesn’t need a reason beyond “I’m unhappy” to make you an ex.
And here’s the punchline: you, the higher income earner, get the honor of funding the lifestyle of the person who decided they’d rather not be married to you. For life. Forever. Until the Grim Reaper or the lottery ticket do you part.
It’s economic bondage at its finest — the deluxe package. You don’t even get visitation rights! That’s right, you’re legally barred from enjoying the company of the person whose yoga retreat, mani-pedis, and fresh-pressed organic juices you now bankroll. It’s like sponsoring a panda in China… only the panda has a lawyer and a monthly invoice.
But wait, there’s more! She’s stressed about working and earning her own income? Not to worry — the justice system has decided your productivity will do just fine. Your reward for being ambitious, disciplined, and financially responsible? A lifetime role as her personal ATM.
Think of it as the Fifty Shades of Grey you never signed up for — minus the romance, the consent, and the safe word. You’re chained not by handcuffs, but by court orders, tax slips, and post-dated cheques.
And the beauty of it? You get to watch her “find herself” on Instagram — yoga in Bali, girls’ nights out, spa retreats — while you’re eating instant noodles and checking your bank app like it’s a horror movie.
So raise a glass, fellow captives, to the joys of spousal support. Economic slavery may be frowned upon in history books, but in family court, it’s thriving. After all, love is temporary — but alimony is forever.
If you don’t pay your adult kids a monthly support amount for life after they move out of the house to maintain their standard of living, why should you pay spousal support for your ex?
